Strawman
by Quill of Life
Summary: People die, the end. Yet sometimes, it isn't. This is one such story, about someone who couldn't even die properly. [SI]
1. Chapter 1

I could talk all day about my death, about how I was such a loser that I couldn't even die properly, how being born for a second time felt, or even how a second childhood sucked. How going through puberty, again, and as a different gender no less was actually worse because I knew what to expect, I could wax poetry on the unfairness of it all, about all the blood and gore I witnessed this time around. I could tell you some light hearted stories about my utterly irrelevant team members, or talk about all the angst I felt about messing canon and thus ending the world around me.

But I won't.

No one cares about that, it isn't all that interesting, all I that matters is that I was celebrating my twenty-first birthday, along with a not so recent promotion from tokujo to jonin, and it hit me.

FUCK CANON

* * *

Sarutobi Hiruzen-sama, and that man fucking earned the respect necessary to attach sama to his name even in the privacy of my thoughts, looked at me with a weird expression. I could understand why, I had shown no desire to train brats before, I had in fact, to quote myself; no fucking desire to wipe noses and powder bottoms. So when I walked in a stated my desire to take a team in the next graduation cycle the man had all the reason in the world to look at me like I had lost my marbles.

"Let me get this straight, _you_ want a _genin_ team." I could have a team of chunins or tokujos, as a jonin it was expected that I could lead such a team, even a team of other jonins, if pressed. "Yes, there are _reasons_ , Hokage-sama."

I held up a privacy seal, one of my better ones at that. As a time-traveling, dimension hopping entity that had some clue about the fate of this world I was rightfully paranoid, to the level that my house was _the_ most secure place in the entirety of the elemental nation. Gotta love fuinjutsu.

Sarutobi-sama gave a curt nod, and I activated the seal placing it on his desk. Now I wish that my paranoia wasn't justified, but with the crackling and smoke coming from no less than three different spying seals on desk I felt rightfully justified in my paranoia. "We'll have to check those out another time, but my guess would be…" I quickly glanced at the seals, "Danzo, Danzo, and hmm… would you look at that, it's an Uchiha."

"Back on topic, Hokage-sama, despite my long list of grievances with one-eye, I still do believe you seriously screwed the pooch in respect to our Jinchuriki." Sarutobi-sama raised an eyebrow, and effortlessly conveyed the message _'tread lightly or you will get a front row seat to why I am call Kami no Shinobi'_ so I quickly moved on. "You could have sacked all those incompetent idiots in the academy and replaced them with mummy-man's zombies, besides our Jinchuriki actually getting an education, it would also make him feel important."

"Yes, that might have actually worked, sadly it's too late for that. However, please do get back on topic, Makoto-jonin." I nodded, Naruto would be graduating in a month or so, it was far too late to do anything about that. "We both know what will happen if the scarecrow gets his little wonder team, a disaster. The man is a clown, at the best of times, and an utter waste of a good jonin slot at worst."

"I know what he would do, first he would ignite the tension between Uchiha-san and Uzumaki-san, 'to create rivalry' as he would put it, however, he has never had an actual rival. Obito-san didn't count, their levels were too far apart, and Gai-san doesn't count, their interactions is just a weird friendship." Taking a slow breath I surveyed the situation, Sandaime-sama was interested. "He doesn't know what it would do to his team, a rivalry means that you aren't acknowledging the other as being competent."

"I see." From the look of his face Hiruzen-sama, the teacher, did in fact see. Insert rant about the traitor and the pervert here. "Now, it could potentially be done, but, and this is important, it would require extreme micromanagement of their training, something the moron wouldn't do, and to keep them on equal footing you would need to hamper the growth of one to let the other catch up."

"Yes, that is the case." Again, I could detect some undercurrents of sadness in his voice, a certain snake and toad no doubt. "This, however, isn't even the worst part. At some point the fool would have to choose between them, and at that point he would fail, because he would abandon Uzumaki-san in a heartbeat."

"That is a serious accusation Akiyama Makoto-jonin." It was, of course, I had it straight from the source, I could vividly recall the hospital scene, where Kakashi dismisses Naruto, not even handing him a jutsu scroll, just a teacher that Naruto shows to have an intense dislike for. "The man is a genius, and as such falls into the trap that all geniuses do, once he has an opinion, he won't change it even if it kills him."

"So, how is this relevant?" I smirked, I could tell that he was looking at me, I had a genius reputation as well, but it was, at least partially, undeserved. "If he hasn't already, he will dismiss Uzumaki-san as talentless shinobi, which just couldn't be further from the truth, and focus on the student that can make it."

"But you can't honestly say that Naruto-kun is talented?" I actually couldn't tell if Sarutobi-sama was testing me, or if he too had dismissed Naruto. It was actually sad, and I couldn't quite keep the anger from flashing across face. "Hokage-sama, that young boy has without any formal instruction, at the best of times, and outright sabotage at worst, managed to cobble together a working taijutsu, get two ninjutsu working, and learned how to run and hide. On his own, without fancy teachers or books, without anything to guide him besides observing others from a distance. Could you honestly have done the same?"

I wasn't sure about Sarutobi-sama, I had technically done it, but I had certain advantages that Naruto didn't. "No, I suppose I couldn't have done that, actually, I don't think it is possible, even the greatest of geniuses require at least some instruction." His expression was actually contrite, it looked like he had dismissed Naruto, at least in part. That, or he hadn't known how much sabotage had been going on in the academy.

"Tell me, what do you have in mind for Naruto?" Sarutobi-sama looked like he was ready to listen now, and so I had to sell the idea. "Several ideas, really, depending on who I could get, but what I really want to make is a team designed to work behind enemy lines."


	2. Chapter 2

The meeting had ended on a positive note, the fried spying seals had been restored, so that whoever was using them wouldn't be wiser, the Hokage was now far more concerned about Danzo, and I had put him Mizuki's trail, a win all around. Even better, I might actually get the team I wanted, maybe.

I was of course on guard on the night of the scroll incident, I knew it would happen, unless Hokage-sama had stepped in at the academy and done something to the place to make certain that Naruto could pass. Leaving a shadow clone behind to explain to Hiruzen-sama, I put on my old ANBU mask and quickly set off of the resident idiot blonde. I was there, just in case something bad happened, if shit didn't go as canon, a backup plan.

Everything went as canon, pretty much at least. As things were nearing a conclusion, I decided to step in, Naruto's clones were already beating the crap out of the traitor when I landed right behind him, slapping a chakra suppression seal onto him, and handcuffing him. "Umino-chunin, don't you think this this qualifies for a battlefield promotion for young Uzumaki-san?"

"Ah, yeah." I quickly threw a headband to the teacher, and watched their somewhat sappy hug-n-cry routine. At least the kid graduated. Taking a deep breath, I steeled my heart, what I was about to do next would forever change the narutoverse. "Uzumaki-genin, front and center."

A small water jutsu later and Mizuki was back in the land of the living, and ranting, a broken jaw fixed that. "Uzumaki-genin," I now had the kid's full attention, and Iruka's as well, the chunin knew exactly where I was going, and he didn't like it, but at least he kept quiet. "While you were deceived, you have still committed a crime against Konohagakure no Sato and her people, you have one chance to prove your loyalty to our great village."

I unsheathed the katana on my back and presented it to Naruto, hilt first. The kid looked utterly terrified, somewhere between fight, flight, and pass out. "Execute the traitor."

The verdict was cast, I could see it, in that moment _something_ died in his eyes, it was sad, but also necessary, no matter what I was creating waves, I had since the time I was born, and thus Naruto needed to be better than canon, better than everyone.

Mizuki was on his knees, slightly bend over, his neck exposed. Naruto stood beside him, sword raised high.

It was as quick as it was grim, a traitor died that night, but so did Naruto's innocence.

* * *

Along with the other prospective teachers, I watched the graduating class through Hiruzen-sama's crystal ball, it seemed that Naruto had somewhat bounced back from the scroll incident, and I had inquired Iruka about his mental status, the chunin doing an admirable job of helping him cope with his first kill. Still, much to my eternal disappointment, the kissing scene between Sasuke and Naruto didn't happen, it would have been hilarious.

Sarutobi-sama had played this round of team formations close to the vest, and only now, just mere minutes from when Iruka would read team formations to the class, did we get the files on our prospective genin. I smirk bloomed on my face, Hokage-sama had given me exactly the team I wanted the most, the team that could go down in history.

"Hokage-sama, I was certain Uzumaki Naruto should be on my team." I almost smirked, Inu, the ANBU operative was a very capable A-rank assassin, tracker, and saboteur, but Hatake Kakashi the jonin, he wasn't worth all the stripes. I had worked with both, and honestly, as the jonin, he was only a B-rank threat. "Kakashi-kun, it was pointed out to me, that you might not be the best teacher for young Naruto-kun, and as such, he will be handed off to someone that saw the potential we missed."

This got the attention of everyone, by Hiruzen-sama's own admission, even he, the vaunted 'Professor' had missed something. I made a quiet motion, asking for permission to explain, and got a nod in return. "You should all be aware that the, _bias_ , towards Uzumaki-san clouds the minds of all of us. However, what you fail to see is that the academy instructors have never given the boy an education, at the best of times he was just ignored, and at the worst, he was directly sabotaged."

The gathered jounin all had grim faces, like him or not, most of the higher ranking ninja had no issue with the boy, staying around neutral. Still, sabotaging a comrade, and he was a comrade by this point, tended to make ninja angry. "Even under those condition, without anything but what he could see from a distance, he managed to create a barely functional taijutsu style, and learn two ninjutsu. That is, without a sharingan."

I could tell that there was a lot of reassessing of the blonde going on, learning a ninjutsu from just observation was almost impossible, and learning a taijutsu style with a teacher trying to sabotage you, impossible. Yet Naruto had done that, the kid had done the impossible, it meant he had to be a genius, at least in some way. Glancing at Kakashi, I could see the man shifting between glaring at me, and looking utterly broken, more so than usual.

Leaving the other jonin behind, I observed my future team, ready to intervene should Naruto try anything stupid. On that list was assaulting Sasuke and trying to kiss Sakura in a henge. However, much to my delight, he made an effort to get to know his team, and had a quiet lunch them and Choji. It seemed that his first kill had fundamentally shifted something in the kid, making him more… human.

"Team 10, with me." Naruto raced along like a puppy, Ino looked somewhere between constipated and awed, and Shikamaru shuffled along as slow as possible. They followed me though, and I quickly led them towards one of the many office buildings in Konoha, taking them into a secure conference room. "Take a seat you three, then we can get started."

Everything is a test, that was the motto I lived by, and it had kept me alive through some missions that were rated as suicide. This too was a test, I wanted to see how the kids placed themselves in the room, no matter what I would learn something. It was interesting, to say the least. Shikamaru was the bridge, he had an acquaintance with both blondes, who didn't know each other, so he was, perhaps for the first time in his life, the center.

Besides that the three genin sat close together, a united front against the unknown, Naruto looked guarded and cheerful at the same time, which was honestly amazing, and Ino still looked at me with a mix of awe and resentment. I could see where it was coming from, I was dressed in the standard ninja pants, a mesh armor shirt and the flak jacket. It showed of the curves of my body.

"Now, introductions, likes, dislikes, hobbies, and dreams. You first, lazy." The introductions went pretty much as expected, Shikamaru had no motivation whatsoever, Ino was a fangirl, though she did have a life outside her crush, and Naruto liked ramen. However, when it came to his dream, his tone changed. "…I guess my dream is to be Hokage, I want to keep Konoha safe, I want to be… better."

"Very thoughtful Naruto. Now, my name is Makoto, I am a jonin. Everything else is either classified or treated as such. I am not going to pussyfoot around you and telling you a few irrelevant things that should be obvious." This had their interest, Ino looked slightly sour, Naruto looked pissed, and Shikamaru eyed me carefully. The kid was smart, he might have actually figured out about the test. "Now to the bad news, Yamanaka-san and Nara-san aren't actually genin yet."

The scandalized look on Ino's face was so worth it, and also the shock on both Shikamaru and Naruto. Before Ino could get going on a rant, I quickly cut in, "Naruto-kun has earned his place in the force, you two haven't, and it is my first job to test if you truly have what it takes to be a ninja. In this regard, all jonin test their genin, and most teams fail, this year we expect 66% to fail. Failures are at best sent back to the academy, at worst dropped entirely, and you two might be clan heirs, but if your records hold true, you won't receive my recommendation to go back and will be dropped from the force entirely."

It was almost hilarious, Ino and Shikamaru looked both scared as hell, and pissed as hell, at the same time. "Naruto, should you fail you would be a floater, you'd be tied to various teams when they do missions and for patrols, in between there are probably a few jonin that would show you a trick or two, and eventually you would then be attached to a boiler team. They do higher level missions. Don't worry, even if these two fuck up, your career might take a hit, but you won't be left completely behind."

This ramped up the pressure on Naruto as well, he had started to look relaxed, but the knowledge that his career would take a serious hit was enough to make him feel tense. Ino and Shikamaru had a much better understanding of what I meant, and they both looked at Naruto with worry, floaters, as a rule, didn't live long.

"Sensei, what is the test?" There was a measure of steel in the fangirls voice, and I appreciated this. "Glad you asked, now most teachers love to mind fuck their little genin, often giving them an impossible goal, such as having two bells and asking the team to acquire them, and the one without a bell is dropped from the team, making teamwork nearly impossible, but at the same time only teamwork would get them a pass. You three however are blessed and cursed to have me as you sensei, all I ask is that you take a walk in a forest."

Before they could fully comprehend what I said, they were unconscious due to a simple sleep genjutsu, and the sleeping gas that had been spreading in the room since I closed the door. Just as the three kids slumped forward, the door opened and one of best friends walked in. "Are you certain about this?"

"I am, we're staying with them, and they'll be safe-ish. Also thanks for letting me borrow your playground, Anko." Not many knew the woman, I had only known her through an animated series, I had also loved her character, and I had tried to get her away from the snake, but failed, she was gone from Konoha long before I heard of his defection. Afterwards, when she returned and was released from T&I I had befriended her, then a few years ago I had sealed of the curse mark, which allowed her to use her abilities to their full potential, it had been a performance boost of nearly 40%, and she was actually nearing S-rank.

Well, the snake never did teach anyone but the best.

"You grab the fat one, I'll take the other two." Anko raised an eyebrow at me, and I shrugged before grabbing the boys. With that I left a shadow clone behind, and set off towards training ground 44.

* * *

"Wake-y, wake-y!" Splashing them with water as I shouted, the three little tykes quickly got up, sputtering and growling, it was cute. "Now, here are the rules. See the tower, if any one of you enter, the team fails. To win all three of you need to exit this training ground alive and somewhat intact, within seventy-two hours. There is ten kilometers to the fence, and plenty of gates, though they are locked, your chakra is now keyed to them, meaning they'll open if you push chakra into the lock."

The three genin eyed the forest, and I could tell they were terrified; the forest of death is no joke, the name is very apropos. I gave them a few seconds to ask a question, and Shikamaru was very quick on the uptake, taking the lull in talking to ask questions. "What is there in this place?"

"This is just your average Fire Country forest, with a twist. Once, a ninja tried to assassinate Shodaime-sama, and for a brief second the man was convinced that the assassin had killed his wife and children. This is Moukuton filled with grief and rage from a man known to be one of the three strongest ninja ever. Everything within ten kilometers is uninhabitable, and everything grows to absurd proportions. Also, this is where Konoha once stood, the tower, is the original Hokage tower."

The three of them were awed, and terrified, I hadn't actually known the history of this forest, until Anko decided I should be enlightened, which she claimed would _'help my appreciation of its awesomeness'_. Ino was next to speak up, looking fairly disturbed. "What about clothes, or food, or tools?"

"Good question, you are supposed to be ninja, you should always be prepared. The enemy isn't going to wait around while you run home to get your tools." It clearly hadn't dawned on the two heirs that they were now part of the military force, and were expected to stand ready at any moment. I cheated of course, having storage seals tattooed on my body, sown in my clothes, and several storage scrolls. "Now, if you three are done asking questions, well… good luck, and watch out for the leeches."

With that I quickly walked into the tower, and through it, exiting on the far side then used the shunshin to arrive a short distance from the team. I would observe… and eat those popcorn Anko was offering.

"Shikamaru, how bad is it?" Ino's voice quavered, as she asked the boy, he too looked quite uncomfortable. "Very, I would suspect our dear sensei is still around, though how much help she will give is questionable, and at what point she considers the help to be a fail for us."

"Guys, if you want you can just quit, I doubt sensei would drop you entirely, and your parents are important, right? Besides, I might have a setback, but I'll be Hokage, one way or another, you heard her, I'll just have to be a floater, whatever that is." Naruto, as sweet as always, giving them a way out, a cheap one too, the kid really is kind. Surprisingly it was Ino that answered, and with a very unamused tone. "Naruto, you know why you never hear about floaters? It's because they tend to die within three missions!"

"Naruto, seriously, you don't want that, and honestly, I don't think Ino or I could live with the thought that we basically sent you to your death. So we'll do this, because no matter what, we're a team now." Ino nodded, and there was round of sappy hug-n-cry between them. "Thanks guys."

Then the three got to planning, Shikamaru took charge, and I was pleased to see Ino deferring to him, and even Naruto listened to the levelheaded brat. This wasn't just a test, of course, if they had chickened out, I would probably give them a second go, but I was also looking for some team dynamics to develop, see where each of them stood, how they would work together under pressure.

A ten kilometer run, even through the forest of death wasn't that hard, the genin could do that, and be at a gate by nightfall, in fact, it would be the recommended option, as, unlike the chunin exams, they had no objective to secure. It also seemed that Shikamaru came to this conclusion, staying in what was most certainly hostile territory any longer than absolutely necessary would be folly.

They were even smart about it, once Shikamaru had seen the shadow clones, he had instructed Naruto to a bunch of them and have them set off in an arrowhead formation, luring beasts away from their path. Not always the best option, but for sheer force, it would work. From that point on, the three genin set off in a dead sprint heading towards the fence line, with Anko and myself covering them.

The rest of the test wasn't even interesting, between me steering the worst of the beasts away, and Naruto clones practically bulldozing a path, they completed the run in fifty minutes. Utterly boring, though there was a hiccup when I missed a giant tiger, purely by accident, and it wandered into their path. Still, before they could become tiger chow, Anko paralyzed it with a senbon.

"Congratulations you all pass! Be proud, most chunin won't step foot in that place even for a million ryo." That chunin also have just enough sense and no death wish, plays a factor as well. The kids need a boost of confidence, and this was a way to shake the three together, make a team of them. "Now, as your wonderful sensei, I will take the three of you to eat an early dinner."

After eating a filling dinner I walked the three of them home, this also meant that Naruto now knew where his teammates lived, a way to give him another connection to them. My shadow clone had already been by to greet the parents, though I might have two overprotective fathers at my throat later. Lastly I walked Naruto home, my shadow clone had visited his apartment, and it wasn't as bad as it could have been. He didn't exactly live in the best part of Konoha, but neither did he live in the slums or some such, just the outskirts of the shinobi district.

"Naruto, would you mind if I came in, as your sensei there are some things I would like to talk about." After a long deliberation, the kid nodded, and invited me in. I quickly pulled out a privacy seal, and placed it on the couch between us. Naruto looked utterly fascinated by it. "I hate to ask this, but it is vital that known these things so I can teach you properly. Naruto, how good are you at reading?"

* * *

It was sobering, Naruto had a small breakdown, I had used a genjutsu to lower his guard, and he admitted that he could read and write hiragana and basic reading of about a hundred kanji. Kids his age, specifically orphans in the academy, should know most readings of about two-thousand kanji. His math skill was equally deplorable, he could do addition and substraction fairly well when using his fingers to count, multiplication was slow but he knew the idea of it, and division, he understood how it was supposed to work but couldn't do the math.

These were skills I had mastered by age eight in my previous life, and by age seven in this one.

Just like I did a month ago, I once again stood in front of Sarutobi-sama, though this time I was livid. Education is sacred, that was the one thing I held onto from my previous life, even when I had to lose the rest of my values to survive. "Hokage-sama, team 10 passes, they are outstanding in the field."

I waited for the rest of the jonin to file out of the room, pass and failure was as expected; besides my team, only team seven which now had Choji and team eight which hadn't changed, passed. Alone, save for the ANBU, I held up a privacy seal, and motioned for the couch. I really couldn't be bothered to re-activate those spying seals tonight. "Naruto is illiterate."

Disbelief, that was the first thing on Hiruzen-sama's face, then shock which quickly morphed into outrage accompanied by plenty of bloodlust. It took him almost ten seconds he managed to get himself under control, enough so that those of us in the room that weren't kage level could converse. "What do you need?"

Not _'who'_ , the man already knew who he had to strangle, but rather what, what did I need to fix the problem. I actually wasn't sure, he was so far behind that it was almost impossible to catch up, but the boy was smarter than most. Still, I would need a lot of resources, books, a teacher, utterly dedicated, and for Naruto to in multiple places at the same… yes, a plan quickly formed.

"Umino Iruka, he'll be dedicated to teaching Naruto for a long while. A quiet place, how about office building 74-C it is close to his apartment. Books, lots of books. Along with barrels of ink, crates of brushes, and enough paper to deforest Fire Country." This is what was needed; shadow clones, lots of shadow clones, and uninterrupted time with a dedicated teacher. "It will be ready by tomorrow morning at six-thirty."

It wasn't all that late, and Iruka was still at the academy setting up a lesson plan for his new class, Hokage-sama had checked with his crystal ball before I ran down to grab him. I wasn't exactly in the friend making mood, as I slammed the door open, really after so many years the man should have noticed that there was something wrong with Naruto's basic education. "Umino-chunin, front and center!"

The guy leapt to his feet coming to attention. A pissed off jonin was always bad, a pissed off jonin with your name, nightmarish. The teachers' office wasn't quite empty, and the other teachers were glancing over, not very discreetly either, really they were supposed to be ninja. "Rest of you maggots, out!"

The room was cleared in less than three seconds, and a quick privacy seal between us, I grabbed Iruka by the collar of his shirt. "Uzumaki Naruto is illiterate."

Just like Hiruzen-sama, Iruka paled. With my free hand I reached into his vest pocket and took out his teaching certificate, holding it up for him to see. The guy looked almost resigned as a sealless katon jutsu sent the scroll up in smoke. "Report at office build 74-C tomorrow morning at six-fifteen for your new assignment."

With that I vanished in a shunshin.

* * *

The next day, I went to Naruto's apartment early, five in the morning to be exact, and let myself in. The boy was asleep, dead to the world on his bed, just as I had left him last night. I quickly set about preparing breakfast, he needed to eat properly, I had looked over his place the previous day, and it was clear that the boy had never learned anything. Cleaning was simply because living in a landfill was utterly unpleasant. It was probably the sound of the bacon frying that had woken him, and Naruto stumbled into the kitchen looking adorable. "Wha…? Makoto-sensei?"

"Good morning. Sit down and eat." Naruto, still half-asleep, followed my direction without complaint. While I would guess that breakfast with the knucklehead would usually be a lively affair, it was clear that our talk the night before had put a severe damper on his mood. "Naruto-kun, last night, after putting you in bed, I went and gave Hokage-sama a rather rude talking to, the man is your guardian, and as such it is his fault you never learned how to read and write. On the same note, Iruka, as your primary instructor at the academy for the past few years is also to blame, only one of them is losing their job over this though."

"If you are going make Hokage, let alone chunin, you need to be able to read and write, as well as arithmetic, and a few other things. This setback, while I should have expected it, has set my training plans of our team behind. This is in no way your fault, and I will adapt the plan to fit the new situation, but I need you to give everything you have to catch up. Ino-san and Shikamaru-kun are already at the starting line, you haven't even left the locker room."

"I understand, Makoto-sensei." There was determination in his eyes, sadness, self-loathing, and anger was also present, but mostly determination. "Hokage-sama has given me free reign of all Konoha resources to get you ready, but it will only work if you give it everything, and more importantly, quit deluding yourself, you aren't even close to peers in ability yet."

"Yes, sensei." It was a bit quieter, but the steel was still there. I could tell that recent events had shook him up, and he was ready to mature. Had he been on Kakashi's team, he would have reverted back from the lack of attention to his problems, but here, he was a lot smarter. "Finally, as your sensei, it is my job to help you, if you have a problem come to me, at worst I would tell you to solve it yourself, but I will always listen."

The quiet breakfast ended, and as Naruto got ready for the day, I looked at his wardrobe. He really had a lot of orange, and it was the only clothes that wasn't entirely worn out. "Nope, you're my little soldier now Naruto, so you have to dress properly at all times. I will let you keep the orange windbreaker, because I would feel like an awful person if I took it, but the rest of clothes, is going in a fire pit."

"Buuut!" There was a bit more energy to him at this point, and I smirked, I had seen this problem from a mile off, and gone to the ANBU armory and just requested a set of ten outfits in his shrimp-y size , it was just the easiest way to shop for now. I actually wasn't sure how much the kid loved orange, because his eyes glittered when he saw the ANBU outfits and quickly forgot about my promise to end his orange with fire.

"Thanks." He was chocked up and emotional, it really didn't matter much, I was his sensei, it was my job to make sure my students were well fitted. "This is part of the job, Naruto. I have to turn you into a competent ninja. I would do the same for Ino-san and Shikamaru-kun, but those two need different things."

I needed to break him out of any illusions, yes I was going way above and beyond what I _needed_ to do as a teacher, but unlike my two other students, and why I felt it especially important to split Sasuke and Naruto, orphans take a lot more work, and those two come with massive truckloads of issues on top. He needed to learn that I, as his teacher, as his commanding officer, had his best interest at heart, not because I was a friend, or because I liked him, but because it came with the job.

"Still, thank you for being my sensei…" It was quiet, he clearly hadn't had people look out for him to this degree, and hopefully his teammates would be just as willing to support him. Both because of the job, but even more so because they liked him. Tossing him his jacket, we took off in a light jog across the rooftops, heading for office building 74-C.

"Make a single kage bunshin." Naruto followed my instructions, I had already sent a shadow clone ahead, both to brief Iruka, and for the purpose of showing him what shadow clones could really do. "You, clone, get in there," I pointed at the door, "now Naruto, I need you to calm your mind and relax, close your eyes, relax."

"You cheated!" Naruto's eyes shot open at the realization. "Wait, you know the kage bunshin too, Makoto-sensei? Wait, wait, how did I know you cheated in rock-paper-scissor?"

I smirked at the clueless boy, he really got riled up too easily. "Hmm… first, ninja can't cheat, we win or we die, there is no cheating, it's just an alternate path to winning. As for the second question, bullshit ninja magic, is what I would like to say, but part of the kage bunshin, and why you don't use them in mass formations, is that they transfer their memories back to the user when they dispel, which, could lead to such things as coma, brain death, or your brain outright melting."

"Still, your unique constitution means you have a bit more leeway, and we are going to exploit that to the fullest, and oh boy is it going to suck to be you." Naruto gulped at my ominous statement, he hadn't realized it yet, but ten clones, would mean ten times the boredom, of course I had tried the kage bunshin hax when I first learned the technique years ago, and it does work, but only somewhat. Worse, it is freakishly boring. "You are going to come here every morning at six, and make clones, your instructor will tell you how many, and you will come here every evening after training to dispel your clones one at a time."

"For today, make five clones." Sending the clones off to a nearby conference room, I lead Naruto towards the wall. Today we would run, I wanted to see how much stamina he had, it would help with a training program for him, and we needed to get to training ground 17, one of the larger ones, and one that would serve well for now.

I was surprised that Naruto didn't have unlimited stamina, in fact, he was doing quite poorly in the long distance running department, however, he recovered within minutes, which was a useful thing. My other two ducklings arrived about the same time as us, Ino was walking there at a sedate pace, being a few minutes early and Shikamaru turned up at seven sharp. "Good morning little ducklings!"

I could almost see the question marks floating over their heads, and I decided to help them. "This is where you should respond with an enthusiastic; 'good morning sensei'. Now you try."

"""Good morning sensei.""" Not that enthusiastic, well Naruto was, Ino was meh, but Shikamaru looked ready to strangle me with his shadow. "Good, it is wonderful that you at least have the enthusiasm down, because from today onwards you belong to me, my word is law, if I tell you to run you run, if I ask you jump you shouldn't ask how high but just fucking jump. Insubordination carries a penalty of up to ten years in Konoha correctional, and I decide if you not giving it your all is insubordination."

"Choji has a wonderful mother, and she has graciously provided us with food, all of you, eat." Another favor I had to pull, but getting solid meals into my genin was paramount to building their bodies, and honestly I couldn't do everything on my own. "For the foreseeable future, you will start a morning run at six, ending it here seven, minimum distance is ten kilometers, then we stretch and have breakfast, then train, then stretch and lunch, then train, then stretch and dinner, then train. If I'm feeling generous, you will be jogging home by eight then stretch and jump into bed."

All three genin paled, seriously, this was harsh program to follow for anybody, it really was our ANBU introduction program, but I needed the two slackers up and running in as little time as possible. Breakfast would have been a quiet affair, if Ino hadn't said the magic word. "But sensei, I can't eat this, I'm on a diet."

"No you're not." I quickly grabbed the girl and shunshined us to a different part of the traing ground, setting up a privacy seal. "Ino, today you will burn somewhere between 3500 and 4000 calories, minimum."

The girl gaped at me, a look of shock plastered on her face. "Choji's mom is an expert on ninja nutrition. That is why I called in my huge favor with the Akimichi clan to get you all the food you need. It was not a small favor either, it was in the 'I owe you my life' category of favors. Your diet may very well lead to serious health problems, least of all would be sterility and an inability to feel hunger."

"Sensei…" The girl looked devastated, but also awed that I would call in such a favor just to get proper meals for my students. Well, feeding a Jinchuriki is no cheap thing, Naruto was happily eating away, and his meals would be the hardest to adjust since we have no baseline. "Ino, I never really cared about my appearance, I would have been fine with looking like a musclebound brute, so I pretty much ate whatever the hell I wanted, and I do enjoy my meat. However, women just aren't designed that way, so no big muscles for me, and going by my diet, it wasn't like I tried."

"How bad is it? For me?" I could tell what she wanted to ask about, would she ever get a chest, and could she have lost her reproductive ability. "You're safe, you didn't train enough during your academy years and your parents did still feed you high calorie food when you were eating, so you're not completely doomed, however, your chest probably won't be as big as it could have been, and you might lose an inch in height."

There was a long pause as the girl took in what I said, then her face turned red and she screamed. "They did what!?"

Ah, righteous feminine fury, I never learned that trick, though I can do Righteous jonin fury like it's nobody's business. Chuckling, I quickly returned us to the clearing, where Shikamaru was looking somewhere between disgusted, awed, and confused at Naruto eating. Ino on the other hand quickly dug into her breakfast, shoveling it down with a vengeance. There was still the third member of the team, but he would be a lot harder to deal with for now all I could do was motivate him through pain and threat of prison.

"Good, you're all fed. Today we will focus on the things you suck at, namely chakra control and physical conditioning. Luckily I know an exercise that will help with both." Tree-walking, lots of tree-walking. Leading my victims, I mean students, to three large pines, I quickly walked up the side of one, standing around. "There are three parts to this exercise, for the morning you will be working on the first part, the sticking using chakra."

The second part is enhancing bones and muscle to not topple over, and the third is using chakra to adjust blood flow so you won't pass out from being upside down. "Naruto, you will learn this a bit differently, and more effectively, but you two listen up," I tossed a kunai to each of them, "a running start then mark your progress, get to the top then start over. Don't slack, keep charging, over and over, or there will be unsurmountable pain."

Learning this Kakashi's way was fucking difficult, it took me a week, and I have an uncanny sense for my own chakra, and the chakra around me. However, Shikamaru is smart, he'll get it quickly, and Ino probably has very good control already, so she'll get it quickly as well. After taking Naruto to the third tree, and he looked somewhat miffed that he got special treatment, I decided to enlighten him. "Naruto, unlike those two your physical conditioning isn't too bad, your chakra control however, is… abysmal. So you need to work on that, a lot. Lie on your back, and put your feet against the tree as if you're sitting on a chair."

Molding some chakra I sent it towards Naruto, it would help me monitor what he was doing, I am a very good sensor at short range, but without the byakugan I couldn't absolutely certain unless I did this. "Now mold your chakra, and have it exit through your feet, then try and pull your feet off the tree."

This is actually something the academy instructors should have done after the student started accessing their chakra, but with everything, I just outright assumed that they hadn't. Besides, even if they had, I doubted they would have gone through with the entire process, which involves helping the student mold and guide their chakra. Of course the moment I felt Naruto's chakra, I could tell they hadn't, it was bubbly and warm, sunshine and rainbows, and it just made you happy, made you smile.

"You have very nice chakra Naruto, it is wonderful to feel. Now, I will use my chakra to guide yours, just relax." Even as a kick ass sensor, I had trouble with my chakra control until I was given a guided tour; however, I also know why none the teacher in the academy did this, it is very intimate, and the teachers would only do it for orphans or kids that have no close relatives to do it. Considering Naruto's reserves, he would need a lot of these tours, until he got it. Probably another thing Jiraiya had to waste time on during the training trip, and it only gets harder with age.

"Sensei, this feels weird, but a good kind of weird, dattebayo." Naruto's voice was rather calm, and recalling the training trip, I also recalled how Naruto hadn't been able to properly summon toads, despite his massive reserves, or the tree-climbing in wave, shit he kept slipping, it was Sasuke that kept blasting off, not Naruto. "Yes, it is a rather intimate experience, and is usually between parent and child, simply because of how close it brings people. When you get a girlfriend, this is something you can do together, once you have the control for it."

Naruto was red faced and spluttering, he really was a bit too innocent in certain areas. Also on a side note, doing this during sex with someone you really like is _awesome_.

With lunch, came two tired genin, Ino had been getting the hang of the exercise and was making good progress, Shikamaru was slower, but then he was a lazy ass and had only ever done bare minimum. Too bad my bare minimum was all that he had. Naruto however was floating on a cloud, still slightly high from having his chakra guided for four hours straight. "Okay, time for lunch. After lunch we will work on taijutsu, aren't you excited?"

"No! This isn't troublesome anymore, this has gone past troublesome and entered outright torture!" Oh dear, I had expected Shikamaru to last longer before he blew his top, but still, it was expected to happen. Just as I had done for Ino, I grabbed the lazy kid and shunshined to a far corner of the training ground, Shikamaru gulped when I drew my sword. "Defend yourself."

I could see it on the kid, he quickly realized I was going way easy on him, moving at the pace of geriatric civilian, and still I smacked him with kill strikes, disarmed him, and generally pointed out how much he sucked in a fight. After a minute of torture I could see that the final puzzle pieces had aligned themselves and he had reached enlightenment. "Do you understand?"

"Yes, sensei." That was the thing I really had hoped with Shikamaru, he would understand, immediately. I had overpowered him using only technique, at a pace a bandit could. If he was ever caught without backup, even a bandit could kill him, and with him dead, then Ino would die, if she was lucky. Though worse would probably happen to her, and he had realized this as well.

Another quick shunshin and we were back, this time for Ino to be staring at Naruto with a disturbed expression.

The afternoon session was going to another blast, Naruto needed a major taijutsu tune-up, one more thing Jiraiya had to waste time on. I was beginning to see a pattern here, though Naruto learned nothing more advanced on that training trip, which is why I had always thought Jiraiya had just wasted time, it turned out that the man might have had a lot of work to do just to get the blonde to genin standards. "Okay, now Ino, I know your clan have a taijutsu style, are you learning it or do you use the academy style?"

"We have a clan style?" That answered my question well enough. "Shikamaru, same question."

"I only know the academy style, sensei." I smirked, this was brilliant, the academy style sucked, sort of, but it was easier to unlearn than the more complex clan styles. Though to be fair, both the Yamanaka and Nara clan, had adapted their styles to be more advanced versions of the academy taijutsu. Still, I had much grander plans for my little bratlings. "Good for you, this means it will only take a few months to reprogram your muscle memory into a far better combat system."

"Sensei, a question. What combat system?" Shikamaru's question was answer by my most diabolical smirk, it was rated as a nine one the Anko scale, capable of making jonin cry. Only Anko could pull of a true ten. A shudder went through all three genin. "The style I am most familiar with, of course… ANBU."

* * *

The afternoon lesson had gone as predicted, ten-thousand punches, five-thousand low kicks, and five-thousand high kicks. All three genin were sore in places they didn't know they had. The evening lesson had returned to tree-walking, and me guiding Naruto. I was almost as exhausted as the genin. They were a draining bunch. Still I walked them home stopping of at Naruto's place first, before heading towards the Nara compound, when Ino spoke up. "Sensei, Naruto, he's never been guided before has he?"

"No, he hasn't." I could see that she wanted to ask more questions, but Shikamaru placed a hand on her arm, and she kept quiet. They both knew what it meant, and both were more than smart enough to extrapolate, so the follow-up question from Shikamaru wasn't a total surprise. "How bad is it?"

As the team tactician, he actually needed to know. Still, Naruto needed his privacy and space. "Bad, worse than you're imagining, but this is important, give Naruto time and space, I will tell him that you know it's bad, so when he feels ready, he can open up."

"Sensei, are you training us to be an ANBU team?" The brat was perceptive as ever. "Not quite, but I did learn a lot there, and they do have good teaching methods, all three of you are very talented, thus I feel confident in using these methods."

It was a boost to their egos, and some of the slouch seemed to vanish from Shikamaru's gait.

As I was dropping off Ino, Inoichi invited me in for tea, which I had expected. Tomorrow it would be Shikaku, this was one of the reasons I walked them home, but also to make certain they all made it home in one piece.

"Akiyama-san, what can you tell me about my daughter." He was trying to keep a level tone as clan head, but I could hear the ever doting father of a little girl poking through. "No longer dieting, put the fear of Kami and underdeveloped body into her. She won't be your 'little' princess much longer, Inoichi-sama."

Mind fucking a Yamanaka is a reward in and of itself, and the man was going through so many emotions, and trying to find the appropriate response that his face kept glitching. "The fangirl issue will be dealt with, for now she doesn't have the energy to think about boys, and by the time she can, it should have cooled off. Otherwise, well…"

I cracked my knuckles.

The next day was pretty much repeat of the previous day, though I didn't wake Naruto or cook for him, and I scouted all three with liberal use of shadow clones and shunshin to check if they did their morning run properly, they did. Then I walked them home, ending the evening by sitting on the porch with Nara Shikaku. "Thank you for giving my son a wake-up call, he needed it, and probably will again. When will you let up on him so he can practice clan teachings?"

"That depends…" I too can play these games, well enough to make him ask. "On what?"

"Two things, first, if all goes according to plan, in a month we might be able to start on ninjutsu once a week, after lunch, but it means you will have to work him over until he cries and begs you to him out of his misery, otherwise, when he makes jonin." The man blanched, training someone is very hard work, and Nara's dislike hard work, very, very, much. Still, the alternative was for Shikamaru to wait until his father could command him directly. Namely when he made jonin. "I see. Trust me, I hate your guts right now."

"War is coming, commander, don't you feel it?" He raised an eyebrow, he had certainly felt it too, but was curious about my take on it. "Bloodlines are dropping dead in Kiri, Suna is gearing up for something, Iwa has recovered from the war, and Kumo… has gone quiet. There is even rumor of a new village, Oto."

"Troublesome…" I chuckled, "troublesome indeed commander, good night."

* * *

The following week continued in the same vein, I got the boys used to walking Ino home, tired and alone she would make tempting prey for the less scrupulous elements in Konoha. I also had a talk with Teuchi and Ayame, the ramen vendors, about healthy diet for a young ninja, as I suspected, they had done what they could, but Naruto didn't have much money and would only buy the cheaper bowls, he refused more than a single cheap bowl as charity, and then only for special occasions. Their hands were tied, they had still done a lot to make it as healthy as possible, but they couldn't do enough, so while they were sad to lose their favorite customer for a long time, they were happy that he was getting proper meals every day.

There was one more person I needed to see, in regards to Naruto, so during one of their morning sessions, I left them alone, with a shadow clone, and went in search of team eight. Dropping in on their training ground, I quickly spotted Hinata, she looked, disheartened. Moving right behind the Genjutsu Mistress, I placed I single finger on her spine and whispering quietly in my bedroom voice. " _Dead._ "

My effort was rewarded with a low moan and a slight shiver, Kurenai is hot, while Anko is crazy hot, the genjutsu user is gorgeous hot. I should know, I've seen both naked. Besides most Kunoichi turn out hot. Even I did, and I was seriously not trying. "Mako-chan? What can I do for you?"

"Lend me one of your students for a chat, also, be ready to be the big sister afterwards, she might not like what I have to say." I wasn't exactly known for my subtlety with people, when killing? Certainly. People? Not so much. Kurenai sighed. "Fine."

I walked towards Hinata, they were working on chakra-control, and it wasn't until I was close enough to touch her that Shino noticed. Even through the sunglasses I could tell that he was frowning, but did a quiet shake of my head and motioned for the tree he was working on. Tapping the girl's shoulder, she flinched, something that just wasn't a good sign. Before she could say anything, I pointed towards Kurenai, who gave a small nod, and I quickly shunshined us from the clearing.

"Hinata-san, this is a privacy seal, once we are done talking I give you a few, they will let you have a private conversation with Kurenai, also, if you want to talk to me again, she knows how to reach me." I placed the seal on the ground, taking a seat as we were enveloped in a bubble of privacy. "My name is Makoto, and I am Naruto's sensei."

Ah, the girl was frightened, Hinata is a sweet girl, but she lacks a backbone, and the lack of Naruto stalking time has clearly gotten her depressed. Still, I don't need my student having a little stalker, he needs friends, people he can count on. "H-hello, my n-name is-s H-Hyuuga Hinata."

Urgh, this is like kicking a puppy, I feel all sorts of evil. It has to be done though, I have spotted Hinata around Naruto's place several time looking for him, and his disappearance has clearly not helped her wellbeing. "Do you know why I am here?"

"N-no." Her quiet voice, hunched posture, gods what have the clan been doing to her. Still, it is about time to instill some confidence into her. However, first is about Naruto. "Hinata-san, are you aware of how Naruto's education has been handled over the years?" Shaking her head, I continued, "I gave him his first tour of his chakra network this week."

The girl paled, I suspect the Hyuuga start this way early, probably at age two, so a decade late would be disastrous. "Ah, s-sensei, is it o-only his c-chakra?"

"No, and I am only telling you this much because you care about him, right now I am doing my outmost to correct his education, he is working sixteen hours a day, every day, for the foreseeable future." Hinata looked, relieved. That was good, then she might also be more receptive to my pep talk. "T-thank you, f-for helping him."

"It is my job as his sensei, but I also came here to talk about you." Her face fell a bit, this was probably going to be a rollercoaster ride for her, at least emotionally. "I will bet you a thousand ryo," I placed the money one the ground, "that in six months you can reach a level where you are a challenge for your cousin in a spar. Not that you'll necessarily win, but you will be able to make it difficult for him."

There was veritable storm of emotions crossing her face, the challenge wasn't that high, I only asked her to be a challenge, not win, but still I placed money on her, on the fact that she could do it. A jonin she had never met before, believed in her. This is a powerful thing, a jonin vest is not something one wins in a raffle, it requires skill, leadership, and keen observation. If Einstein tells you that time travel is possible, then you'd believe it, because the man knows his shit when it comes to science, the same for a jonin, I know my shit when it comes to ninja.

"A-are you s-sure?" I smirked. It was a win-win for her, really. "Are you? If you fail, you can be a thousand ryo richer, but if you manage to give your cousin a challenge?"

"I-I agree." There was a bit of determination and steel in her voice now. "Great, if you want, we can have a little spar, let me see if I can't give you a tip or two."

In my past life, it was known that the hard style of juuken didn't really fit Hinata, but then that doesn't make any sense, the Hyuuga clan only have taijutsu, they've got to have encountered these problems before, and should know everything about the body. Thus the spar was far more enlightening than I had suspected, Hinata, fought well enough, but it seemed that she was doing it wrong.

"Hmm…" I hadn't quite collected my thoughts yet, there was something nagging me. Carrying chakra paper wasn't exactly common, but I had been planning to test the affinity of my students, at some point soon. "Here, try channeling some chakra into this."

The paper crumbled into a ball, lightning affinity, which is strong against earth. Hmm… I furrowed my brow, there was something… off, I just couldn't place my finger on it. "I have to go talk to some people, you should be going back to your tree climbing, remember though; you are a lot stronger than you give yourself credit for."

I quickly shunshined us back to the clearing, and left for the Hyuuga compound. Gai might have been able to answer my question, but honestly I wanted a juuken expert, and the only expert that had Hinata's best interest at heart, would be Hiashi, even though the man is a prick. "Akiyama Makoto-jonin, requesting a brief meeting with Hyuuga Hiashi-sama."

The guard nodded, I been fairly formal in the request, and Hiashi should know to not keep me waiting too long, I had after all, been entrusted with _'Konoha's Weapon'_ , yuck. Still it was a ten minute wait until I was lead to a narrow office. A fairly defensible location, I noted. "Hiashi-sama, thank you for seeing me on such short notice."

"What do you wish to speak to me about, Makoto-jonin?" Without a word I handed him the chakra paper. "Chakra paper, lightning affinity? What of it?"

"Your eldest." And that was clearly the right thing to say, the man looked shocked. "No, Hyuuga always have earth affinity, it is strong in our clan…"

"I had a quick spar with your eldest daughter, and there was something off, her stance was… I am not sure, I wish for you to observe without prejudice." The man nodded, Hiashi was clearly lost in thought as he kept staring at the small ball in his hand. "We leave at once."

I had clearly gotten his interest. Elemental affinity says a lot about a person, they are not just a small aspect, but rather a part of our whole being, and they define everything from body type to personality. I am a lightning type as well, quick and to the point, a powerful build, and most importantly never still. Hinata should have similar characteristics as me, and if kept buried it could spiral into suicide.

Landing back in the clearing, I spotted Hinata back at it with the tree-walking, and quickly walked up to her. Hiashi was in the tree line, suppressing his chakra, he would watch, and hopefully see what I saw, and know what to do. "Hinata-san, I have brought a taijutsu expert, he will observe as we spar, and can give you a few tips to help you grow. Okay?"

"Y-yes." No need to tell the poor girl _who_ the expert is, it would just completely undermine her confidence, but it seems like I have boosted her just enough to make her go all out. "When you're ready."

The second spar was just a repeat of earlier, something was off, but I couldn't place my finger on it. Still, Hinata gave it her all, and she is seriously fast, even if it looks off… "Well done, that's how you're supposed to spar, give it a few years and even I can learn something."

"B-but I don't w-want to h-hurt you." Yes the second issue with Hinata. Had no one ever told her that sparing only works if you push your opponent? I nearly groaned, this was the Hyuuga clan, a clan full of emotionally stunted people, of course they hadn't. "Hinata-san, a part of getting better is to be challenged, and in sparring the only way to show respect is to give it your all, remember, in a spar you can stop before it gets too dangerous, you can't do that in combat."

She nodded carefully, and I spotted Hiashi approaching in the distance, so I decided to help Kurenai pack up the rest of team 8, to give them some privacy.

* * *

Naruto was without an income, and he had bills to pay, at first he hadn't been worried, but by the end of the second week, he came to me. "Um, sensei… can I talk to you?"

"Sure, what is it Naruto?" We walked away from the breakfast, giving us some privacy, his teammates wouldn't snoop. "I, um, wanted-to-ask-you-about-missions-since-I-need-to-pay-rent-soon." After his round of verbal diarrhea, I smiled. "Don't worry, Hokage-sama and I have already taken care of it, your rent and utilities will be covered for next few months."

I had already talked with Hokage-sama, and we had come to an agreement. Several teachers in the academy had been forced to pay restitution, they hadn't taken their job seriously, the orphanage matron that had been in charge of Naruto's early education had passed away, while in T&I custody, and part of her assets would also go to him. It wasn't a lot of money but enough to cover rent and utilities on his apartment for a few months.

"Really?" He looked incredulous. "Yes, remember, there where teachers that didn't give you the education that Konoha was paying for, so they had to pay a fine, we decided it would be best if that money went towards your rent."

"Thanks. Really, you're the best sensei ever." It was rather sweet, and I couldn't help the small smile, Naruto really was just so kind. How the hell he had turned out that way was any ones guess, but even more importantly, he also stopped bottling up his emotions. While Shikamaru had been slightly surprised to see the blonde change, Ino had sighed in relief and told him to keep pouring it out, well, she was the team psychologist.

Really they were advancing at an incredible pace, I had cheated when growing up, but I can honestly say that all three of them will be A-rank by the time they are in their teens. At least if they keep at it. Hopefully they will all be ready for the chunin exams, and capable of giving a good showing and landing three vests. Another change I'm hoping for is that Sarutobi-sama will survive, putting the idea of war in Shikaku's head, and asking our esteemed leader why he didn't use shadow clones to lighten his burden had already wrought change.

Kami no Shinobi was back, Konoha defenses were being strengthened, spies were being found, and even the cripple seemed to be helping.

There were reasons for this, when I turned twenty-one in this life I had realized that I was probably already messing with canon. It was impossible to tell, I could be an extra jonin in Konoha's arsenal, I could have completed a mission that was supposed to fail in canon, waves could be forming, changing the world, and I wouldn't even have noticed before it was too late. I had completely failed to realize how even the smallest change could affect the entire world.

That is why I had started project super rookies. Besides my three, Hinata had to receive help as well, Sakura and Choji too, but those two were slightly more difficult to get to, and I just hoped that they would survive the coming storm.

Hopefully, the wave mission would go off well, I had a shadow clone lurking around looking for an old drunk with a funny hat, problem was, I only knew it was between graduation and chunin exams.

I was getting nervous, these three needed to get stronger, fast, or things wouldn't end well. At least they now had water-walking down, so I could teach them the first step of nature transformation. The schedule needed to be changed though and as I watched them pack away their breakfast, I unsealed their next challenge. Predictably, Shikamaru groaned, Ino looked confused, and Naruto looked fearful.

"You have all improved your taijutsu, so now we are ready to move on with more physical training." All three looked at the items like they spring to life and bite them. Really, they were just training swords, fitted for their heights, and on the note of heights, Ino had grown slightly in both height and chest, lots of nutrients and exercise agreed with her, Naruto too had grown, in fact he had grown a few inches. I explained it as a kekkai genkai to the other two, and they accepted when I showed them how cuts healed nearly instantaneously.

The three little genin spent the entire morning practicing, building up the muscle memory. It wasn't as physically demanding as running laps, or doing push-ups, but there was only so much time and we really didn't have the luxury of taking things slow.

The afternoon lesson included Naruto making shadow clones so that all three could practice blocking kicks and punches. I had just started to add this, because until the boy had the muscle memory down it would be hell to make sure all three clones were doing it right. More importantly, it meant he would get even better at taijutsu now.

The evening lesson would be on nature transformation, which was fine since it doubled as chakra control. Handing out the three pieces of paper, I was eager to see their affinities. Naruto should be wind, but then again, who knows, as for the other two, I couldn't remember.

"So, fire?" Shikamaru was quite the little genius, though really, it wouldn't be that hard to figure out, when I had told them it was about nature transformation. "Correct, you two want to take a guess as well?"

"Um… wait I know this, fire, lightning, water, earth, and… um, wind!" Naruto was quite excited about this, and about remembering all five elements, looking down at his paper, his face scrunched up. "Uh, not fire, probably not water either, maybe wind?"

"Are you asking or are you telling?" I smirked slightly, whenever there was a chance, I had the boy use his head, and not for bashing in skulls. "Telling! It's wind! Dattebayo!"

"Correct Naruto. Ino will this be three for three?" The girl looked at dust scattered on the ground, and used her mind for a moment. "Earth."

"Yup. So three for three, congratulation you all have won…" I smirked at the three groans, this is why teaching baby genin is fun; they are so expressive. "…what? Am I some sort evil horrible monster to you?"

"""Yes.""" The three of them chorused. I pouted. "Naruto, I had thought you'd have my back, Ino, you can't be serious, we girls have to stick together, and Shikamaru," I smirked at him, "I thought you knew better."

A shudder went down pineapple-haired boy. "Now your prize for being such intelligent little ducklings, is fifty laps around the lake."

This really wasn't that much, not any more. Naruto never had any issue with his chakra reserves, and the other two were growing reserves at an honestly staggering rate. I have pretty big chakra reserves, somewhere between Kakashi and Gai, but these two, if the trend held, they would have kage level reserves in their mid-twenties. Even Anko had bigger reserves than me, so all in all, I was just second-rate; these natural talents could do so much more.

"Okay you three, now it is time to learn nature transformation." The three of them sat down and I handed them each a leaf. "These leaves are from a tree that Hashirama-sama grew, so they are slightly receptive to chakra, the idea is the same as with the paper, but now you must actively transform your chakra as well. For wind it is about cutting, grinding against itself to make sharp blade. Earth is weight, changing the mass. Fire is about speed, heating up from the friction."

"Of course I have the most troublesome element." Shikamaru let out a sigh, it really was weird that he had gotten fire, it was energetic; something he decidedly wasn't. Of course they wouldn't be able to get this on their own, and just like how you needed a guided tour to properly learn how to mold chakra, you needed someone to give you a feel for each element.

"Okay, Naruto, just like when we started training chakra control, I am going to add some elemental chakra so you can get a feel for it." With that I placed my hand above his, and channeled a small amount of wind chakra into his system. After a few minutes, he had the feel for it, there is a reason you don't train several natures at the same time, it is hard to remember the feeling. Giving him a new leaf, I moved on to Ino, helping her get a feel for the earth element. Shikamaru was last, and just needed a quick tap before he too got going.

* * *

Three and half weeks, that was how long it took before Tazuna showed himself. The kids were working hard, and improving at unbelievable rates, Inoichi and Shikaku had been astonished, to the point of speechlessness, something I took personal pride in. Really they were reaching a level where they could be chunin.

Back to the irresponsible drunk, I didn't like him, and when he went to the desk chunin to request protection from bandits during the final part of the bridge construction. The guy had almost finished writing up the contract, when I stepped in. "Belay that, chunin."

The desk chunin quickly looked up to see who ordered him, and then placed the contract in the incinerator box, a standard procedure with all paperwork that wasn't needed anymore. The bridge builder turned to face me as well, he was half-way drunk already, and looked scared shitless. I guess he figured the jig was up. "You are a very lucky man, Tazuna of Wave Country. Do you know the penalty of lying about mission parameters?"

He shook his head back and forth quickly. "Simple, the mission would instantly be cancelled and your life would be forfeit. This along with all your assets, we would send a team to acquire them, one way or another."

"Now, let's go talk with Hokage-sama, we aren't heartless, and a payment plan could be set up, who knows, you might have more assets than you think." I was hinting at the bridge and trade agreements here, and I was reasonably certain Tazuna got it.

The Hokage was less than pleased that the man had tried to cheat, but then, I had stopped Tazuna before the contract was signed, so he really hadn't done anything wrong. The situation in Wave was bad, Gato had them in a strangle hold, and rumor was that he had hired a team of ninja, four of them. At least the four ninja had been spotted in the small island nation, two guys with face masks, a young boy, and last a big man with massive sword.

"Zabuza Momochi no doubt." I didn't even doubt it, not because of the anime, but simply because of the size of the sword, and fish guy was an S-rank that worked with Itachi, not a pair of idiot chunin. The name, of course, meant nothing to Tazuna, but our grim expressions clued him on the fact that the price just went up, again. Flashing a few handsigns out of view to the bridge builder, I conveyed a basic plan. A strike team to take out Gato and his bandits, a sabotage team to steal his money, and an experienced genin team to act as decoy.

Likely, this mission would go to team Gai.

Another three weeks of monotonous work later, and my own team was actually coming along, they were still on basic training, but now they had the muscle memory for both the sword and taijutsu. They were much further along than the other two rookie teams, in fact, they were quite adept physically, even with the gravity seals applied to them. So it was time for the first test. Originally I had planned on doing this test on the second day, after showing them tree-walking, but Naruto's education took precedence, and the two others need to get their physical skills in order.

"Okay team, today marks the first day where you are actually ready for a test. This will be a live combat survival exercise against jonin opponents… yes Shikamaru, it is finally time for me to start beating the stuffing out of you three." The three shuddered. "Here is a supply scroll for each of you, Ino come with me; you boys stay here and get changed, put all of your current equipment on the table."

They would each receive an ANBU mission pack, I had picked them up myself, and they contained what was expected to be needed for a three day excursion, meaning they'd have to hunt and scavenge for supplies. This test was about putting them together as a team, making them rely on each other. It was a make or break situation, so they would either fall apart completely, or they would come out as a unit.

Returning with Ino, I nodded in approval of the two mini-ANBU standing there, though I could tell from Shikamaru's posture that he wasn't all that pleased. Really, I thought the sloth mask fitted him perfectly. Ino too had a sour look at her boar mask, but I simply didn't have any better ideas. Naruto looked nervous with his fox mask, but again, it fit, the others would accept him. Ino already knew, all Yamanaka had to know the dangers of invading the mind of a Jinchuriki, so she had been told years ago; Shikamaru was smart enough to ask the right questions, and trusted Ino to tell if someone was a bad person.

"Look at you! Looking all professional, like cute little soldiers!" I placed their belongings in separate scrolls and sent a shadow clone to deliver them to their homes. "Now, if you hadn't guessed it, we are going back to training ground 44, you'll stay there for week, while I and some of my friends makes life hell for you."

I had invited a bunch of jonin to join in, they thought I was breaking in some new potential ANBU, so they wouldn't go easy on them. I didn't know, or care, when or if they'd show, all that mattered was that the three of them would be hounded day and night.


End file.
